When love isn’t quite enough right now.

Maybe it’s the same fight, over and over – and deep down you both know it’s not really about the dishes or who forgot to call. Maybe one of you wants to talk it out right now, and the other just shuts down. Or maybe nothing’s actually wrong, but you’ve drifted into living side by side instead of together.

A lot of couples looking for therapy in English moved to Berlin from somewhere else. Family is far away, friends are scattered across time zones, and suddenly your partner is carrying almost everything. When things get rocky, that can feel pretty lonely. Some couples speak English together because it’s nobody’s first language. Either way, therapy should happen in the language you actually fight and make up in.

How I work: Emotionally Focused Therapy

I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Sue Johnson. It’s based on attachment research and it’s one of the best-researched approaches to couples therapy out there.

Most couples who come to me are stuck in the same loop. One partner pushes – criticizes, chases, needs to sort it out now. The other pulls away – goes quiet, gets defensive, leaves the room. The harder one pushes, the further the other pulls back. And round it goes.

We don’t spend our time figuring out whose fault it is. Instead, we look at that loop together – almost as if it were a third person in the room making life hard for both of you. Underneath the anger there’s usually fear: Do I still matter to you? Underneath the silence, often: Whatever I do, it’s wrong. Once those feelings can be said out loud – and actually heard – couples start finding their way back to each other.

What to expect

• The first session: We get to know each other, you tell me what’s going on, and I’ll give you my honest take. Then you decide if you want to keep going.
• Sessions: 90 minutes. That gives us time to actually work through what comes up, not just talk around it.
• How long it takes: That depends on you two and what you’re bringing with you. Many couples feel some relief after a few sessions. After an affair or a big breach of trust, it usually takes longer.
• Confidentiality: Everything you share stays between us – as a psychologist, I’m bound by professional confidentiality.

I also see individuals in English, if you’d like to work on your relationship patterns on your own.

Couples therapy online

Not in Berlin, always travelling, or just can’t find a babysitter? We can meet over video on Microsoft Teams. Online sessions work the same way and are just as long as in person. All you need is a laptop or tablet with a camera, a decent connection and a room where nobody will walk in on you. Sessions are never recorded.

Fees

• Couples session (90 minutes): €320
• Individual session (60 minutes): €190
• Evenings (from 4 pm) and Saturdays: +€100 per session

German health insurance – public or private – doesn’t cover couples therapy, so you pay for sessions yourselves. If you need to cancel or move a session, please let me know at least 48 hours (two working days) ahead. Otherwise I’ll have to charge for it.

About me

I’m Anna Wilitzki, a psychologist (M.Sc.) with a practice in Prenzlauer Berg. I trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (Sue Johnson’s model) and have done further training in the Gottman method for couples and sex therapy, in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and in working with trauma in couples. Before becoming a couples therapist, I worked in neuropsychology – and saw first-hand how much a strong bond matters when life gets hard.

I also wrote the German book „Einfach Lieben“ (Rowohlt Polaris), and I’ve been invited onto German media like ARD-Morgenmagazin and Deutschlandfunk Nova to talk about relationships. More about me (in German).